Leaving a Generational Legacy | Kevin Taylor
Strategist Peter Strople said: “Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people.”
I remember all those things my parents said to me as a kid that I said I’d never repeat:
Because I said so. . .
As long as you’re living under my roof, young lady. . .
What? Are your legs broken?
Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about. . .
Don’t make me turn this car around. . .
I ended up saying half of them to my kids anyway.
We all carry DNA from our mothers and fathers, whether you ever knew them or not. They transferred some of their makeup—physiological, emotional, social, spiritual—to you without you asking.
That’s the story for many families. For instance, some of you have a vocation and your children are following that vocation. For certain families, there are second, third, fourth generations following a particular career: medicine, military, sports, music, education, ministry.
In Genesis chapter 50, Joseph tells his kinsmen to carry his bones when he dies to the land God promised his great-grandfather, Abraham. That was a generational legacy. Joseph had never been there, and yet he considered it “home” because of the blessing given to his great-grandfather.
Here’s a “carry my bones” question: In one word, what will your generational legacy be?
I often ask families at funerals this question: “Can you describe your loved one in one word?”
Some choices include character; courage; faithfulness; generosity; sacrifice; joy; leadership.
There are other choices like regret; pain, selfishness, materialism; pride.
What will your ONE WORD, GENERATIONAL LEGACY be?
Ever heard of Victor Dorman? He left a legacy. He changed the way we buy cheese in this country—he put the paper between the slices.
I’m grateful for cheese paper, but I don’t know if I want that to be my legacy.
Exodus gives us an amazing outlook on generational legacy:
“I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments” (Exodus 20:5–6, NIV).
Do you see what that’s saying? Holding accountability to third and fourth generations but granting blessings to a thousand.
Exponential blessing over curses.
Exponential grace over punishment.
Exponential future over past.
Here’s the part you’re called to play—now:
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:5–9, NIV).
God designed families to be the single most important generational thing He established in the earth. As part of a family, children get:
A sense of identity—who they are and why they’re here
Motivation and discipline that helps them be strong, courageous, healthy, and balanced
Encouragement to succeed
A sense of affirmation and security
A generational blessing
Here’s the rub: Some people live their lives as home-run hitters. They swing for the fences every time—but raising a godly family, growing rich character, and passing along generational blessing isn’t done in the big moments of life.
It happens in the smaller moments—it’s the everyday moments that matter.
Time also matters. Time is cumulative. Eating a salad with sugar-free dressing rather than a juicy half-pound Red Robin burger doesn’t work if you only do it once. What you do cumulatively over time matters.
Working out at the gym, lifting dumbbells until you’re red in the face is fine. But then you get home and lift up your shirt and realize you don’t have abs—yet. It doesn’t work if you only do it once. What you do cumulatively over time matters.
Over time.
What can you do with your children—over time—that matters? Not just once, but cumulatively, that will pour a lasting legacy deep into their hearts and spirits?
Here are some ideas for “moments that matter”:
Have meals together at the dinner table
Connect and pray with them at bedtime
Let them “catch you” consistently reading the Bible
Outwardly notice something they’ve put great effort into
Start and keep some family traditions, like a movie night
Give piggyback rides
Put away your phone, iPad, computer, devices and really listen to them
Write letters of encouragement to them that picture a special future
We did this last one with our three daughters: letters written at their birth (to be read later), and letters at age 12, age 16, age 18, and then when they turned 30. We’re doing it with our grandchildren now as well. (One of the special unexpected “fruit moments” was that when I turned 50, they each wrote a letter to me. Those framed letters are hanging on my office wall today.)
Is there a generational plan for your family’s legacy?
Your kids aren’t going to just grow up one day and be followers of Jesus. It doesn’t happen that way. Intentionality around small moments are what create legacies.
I’m pretty sure you can’t name the first and last names of your great-great-great-grandparents on both sides of your family. Do you know what that tells me?
Your name may be forgotten, but your legacy won’t be.
In all my years of counseling, I’ve never heard anyone say:
“I wish my mom and dad would've gone to work more.”
“I wish they would have bought me a better car.”
“I wish they would have paid for all my college.”
Do you know what I’ve heard people say—a lot?
“I wish Mom would’ve spent more time with me.”
“I wish Dad would’ve kicked work to the curb and been around more—played a little more catch with me.”
The legacy you’ll leave is the one that is in Jesus. Most everything else will be forgotten.
So ask yourself:
What legacy will I leave generations long after my name is forgotten?
Will I have spent my life for myself or invested it into a generation?
What can I do this week in a small moment that will continue leaving a legacy?
Because legacies don’t merely echo a little bit after you’re gone; they reverberate into future generations. Your words and deeds, all pieced together, will form the history you leave behind. They’re told, they’re shown, they’re held, they’re felt, they’re passed on. They make their way everywhere.
Few are monumental memories. Most are minimal moments—but they really matter.